Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
