I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize