We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
