I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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