hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
