Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
