it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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