Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
