Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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