Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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