This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
