party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
