did you get engaged???
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
