3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
