college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
