I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
