I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
