im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
