dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
