you turned your livingroom into a bong?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
