You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize