So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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