come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
