new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
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a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
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i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.