I hope mine doesn't look like that
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.