Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
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I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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