yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
