The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
