I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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