Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
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u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She has the best kind of daddy issues
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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