Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
