you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Still dying that you shit outside
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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