Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
