I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
