Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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