is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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