the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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