I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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