Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
