Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
