So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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