yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
