So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can't turn off my feet"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
