You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
soo... how was my night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
