youre lurking in front of me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
