Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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