i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
