OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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