There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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