Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
