Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
