i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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