you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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