Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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