Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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