Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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