and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
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There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
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Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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