He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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