and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
