my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
