Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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