Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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