I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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