Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
