Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
