All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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